Sunday, 7 November 2010

just want to say thankyou for all your comments,
and im sorry i hvent been posting regularly 
im feeling pretty depressed atm? if thats even the word to use.
And i just dont know how to put how im feeling into words.

Its hard cos i really wanto come on here and just let everything out,
its always makes me feel better saying how i feel on here
but for some reason i just cant let it out i dont know what to say apart from 
im feeling low.
ive started cutting again.
but no one knows how i feel every1 thinks im ok, 
ive just been use to putting on a fake smile and pretending that everythings ok.
and then when i get to my room that all changes..
i wish i wudnt do that i wish i could show them how i feel.
im scared of my self when i feel like this.
im scared to go to sleep. ive been having horrible dreams.
mostly about my dad (hes dead) and then i wake up and its like he's there
its like he's sat at the end of my bed i know i sound crazy but its so real. 
uh! just wish this would go.. i do want help i want it so bad but i just feel like
i cant be bothered to ask for it. i cant be bothered to do anything.
i feel like no1 will belive me because of my fake smile.
oh well!

ive missed you all! and hey to my new followers.. im not always this negative.. i swear :)!
hope your all doing better than i am.
im going to catch up on all your blogs tonight seen as im having a late night.

bit of thinspo for you! xxxxx


  1. Oh sweet girl, my heart goes out to you. I know how you're feeling and it sucks. I hope you will find some relief somewhere, in a positive way. Stay strong and hold on, the dawn is always promised. Much love to you.

  2. <3 I wish there was anything I could do; anything. But for now, darling, you're in my heart.
    Thank you for the beautiful comment, you are just so lovely. Lovelier than you'll ever see; but it's always that way.
    Know that you're in my thoughts.
    <3<3 x

  3. I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a tough time and that your dad is no longer with you. I can see how this would have a strong impact on your life and your dreams.

    Unresolved issues have a way of wearing one down. The only solution is to talk about these feelings, but I understand what it's like when you suffer from depression. Just getting up in the morning can be an insurmountable obstacle, nevermind helping yourself.

    I think all us girls are actors in the same stage production called 'Faking It!' It's hard to fit in when you don't experience things the way others do. Luckily, we all have each other and we're here for you.

    Hang in there girl and do what you gotta do to feel OK or something close. Light and love. XXX