not living, only existing.: 2010

ok! so i've lost one follower lol.

hmm. im sorry ive been away for a bit

Ive just been a messssss!

binge purge binge purge binge binge.

I just didn't know how to write about it,

i didnt want to think about it, so ofc i didnt really wanto write about it.

im sorry. Im so glad this christmas is over, bring on new years.

This year, is going to be my year.. Mine and all of my beautiful followers year, we deserve it.

This year,

1. (obv) Be thin.

2. Try and be happy?

3. Get a job.

4. Learn to drive asap.

5. Become vegetarian/vegan.

6. Get rid of my computer and get a laptop.

7. Sort through my room, out with the old and in with the new!

8. Get my long hair back!!!!!!!!

9. hmmm ill get back to this list ;)

im ~~inlove~~.

shitfuck-fasfaezvcvx- why? why do i fall for people so easily why have i let him in. Weve been together what? 2 weeks, and were already saying the 'L' word. dyamnnn. this could only end badily right? well i suppose weve known each other for a year? but still!!!! the 'L' word. I know its real, i thought ive been inlove before but compared to what i feel about a now, no way. The way he touches me.. the way he smiles, the way he tells me im to thin, the way he lies there staring at me, The way he text's me 24/7, The way he is soo beautiful and can do so much better than me.. The way he says 'He would rather watch me, than watch tv', They way he holds me, The way he kisses every bit of my face. I could go on for ages, but i dont want to bore you. Im tempted to put a pic up, but im not going to because if anyone new him that was readin this then got back to him etc. Mehhhh! but he is beautiful. Im doing this for him! He is my motivation now.

Im too scared to weigh my self, i know ive put on because ive come on my period, and i havent been on my period for quite a while. But hey ho, atleast ive got that out of the way.......

I got some barry M nail varnish where it leaves patterns on your nails i love it.

ill try find a picture..........

My christmas was pretty rubbish :/ I was on my own most of the time watching tv.

Mom was working, Paul was upstairs as usual (moms bf) brothers... 1 was at pub, the other one

was at his mates house? :/ yes on christmas? sheeesh. We didnt have christmas dinner either until boxing day.

It just didnt feel like christmas, Presents were pretty crap to! LOL i sound so selfish.. mehh.

got money and was mento get some underwear and pjs uno the lil stuff you get stockin fillers. but i think i got 1 pair of pjs and 1 pair of socks, and cant remember what else lol.. we normaly have loads of lil stockin fillers, one big expensive present, then money. This year was just different.. everything was different..

Ive got 100 pounds left.. Need to get My bank card sorted and then i can start ordering stuff online.. Need to get sum laxies, and some water weight pills. and few pairs of motivation smaller sized jeans and maybe a few tops..

Got to spend 20 pound on a taxi tomorrow to go see adam, moms working.. and pauls just ... being paul?

I hate him. So thats. God 80 pound left. I need a job so badily!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway think thats all to report.. OHH

i have a new wii game EA sports active ( the first one) wanted to get the second one but that was 70 pound so thought id try the first one out first, and its brilliant. ive been on it like everyday this week, doing a 6 week challenge and extra other stuff like cardio work outs and etc. tells you how many cals burned and how long uv spent on there etc.. Would defo recomend it.. only 15 pound. (My pound buttons broke btw so i ahve to keep typing it.. tehe)

Right im off to update on all you lovley peoples blogs!!

hope you have all had a fab xmas.

and hope you all have a great new year...

XOXO

P.S i think someone asked me a while ago

where i got my thinspo pics, mostily there from weheartit.com

:). enjoy