Friday, 10 September 2010

wowowoow i have 4 followers :))).
havent been writing on here for past few days think its because i binged and purged and i suppose i just didnt wanto write about it lol. but today has beeeeen great :))))). done about 300 jumping jacks, 50 situps so far! andd drumrolllls haha only eaten half a packet of noodles, and one mikado thing (which is only 10 cals) which i thought was great considering it was chocolate haha. yesturday i binged on choc and crisps ugh :/ was doing so well aswell its night time when it gets harder when everyones home and tempting me lol!!... but i purged soo i felt abit better after but still very guilty becos i didnt enjoy doing it. also i turned down some chippy chips!! which was good for me aha there always my weakness.

Anyway ive been doing alot of painting and drawing recently so ill have to start putting pics up to show :) i forgot how much i enjoyed doing it and how much time it took up. I also love photography so ill put up some of my own pictures :)

Everyones talking about collegeeeeeeee! and i wish i had the guts to go :( i think ive already said it in another post though. stupid anxiety.. i just hate people. i hate going out and i hate staying at home bored, but id rather stay at home exercise loads than go out and see people :S weird aint i. lol. I wanted to talk about my best matee shes in recovery or shes been in recovery from anorexia, we dont really speak anymore.. but she was different she told everyone about it she made sure she got attention from it.. and im going to sound really bitchy but i just need to let it out.. when i started suffering with depression and axiety with panic attacks she suddenly did. so the school obviously thought we was copying each other but it was like she liked all the attention and she did it on purpose to get the attention.. i hated it and still do, well i like it when people say oh you look great have you lost weight or something but i dont go round saying to everyone i have a problem with food :S i just find it weird that she would like it. and she was the first and only person i told about purging and about my problems and then funny enough she said she did the same :s at first i thought oh i spose its good ill have someone to talk to who knows how it feels but i didnt notice any weight loss or anything for a while and marks on her hand didnt notice which i have marks frm purging on knuckles. ANYWAY thats ok now let it of i know she cant be making it up cos shes in recovery now but i just found it a bit coincidental :S if that makes sense.

about (C) we still talk and were still as close as ever, even closer tbh and i really like him, and i cannot wait to meet him tehe! :)

heres some pictures ive taken..

ill put on few more next time :) 
now some thinspo picssssss.


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